


Two Steps Back, One Step Forward Into Eternity

by Amy (InnitMarvelous), I love Tony Stark 3000 FOREVER (InnitMarvelous), InnitMarvelous, tsg (InnitMarvelous)



Series: Dear Tony [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Letter, Not A Fix-It, Pepper misses Tony, Pepper trying to deal with her pain, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), She's lonely, she's hurting, so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23625205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnitMarvelous/pseuds/Amy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnitMarvelous/pseuds/I%20love%20Tony%20Stark%203000%20FOREVER, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnitMarvelous/pseuds/InnitMarvelous, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnitMarvelous/pseuds/tsg
Summary: It is five years later.
Relationships: Tony Stark/Pepper Potts
Series: Dear Tony [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608019
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Two Steps Back, One Step Forward Into Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> **Please be sure to read this all the way to the end, and especially the end notes.**

Hi Tony,

It’s been over a year since I’ve written you a letter, and soon it will be five years since you...

Even now I have difficulty writing out that _word_ in a letter to you. I guess there’s a part of me that still can’t believe it is true, not even after I have spent almost five years without you in my life. But I didn’t start this letter just to say once more how much I still miss you and wish you were here with me, with _us_. No, I am writing this letter now because I have some things I want… or rather _need_ to tell you about.

First of all, I want you to know that our baby is doing fine. Of course she still misses you (we _both_ miss you, always), but she's been learning how to live without you in her life. We both have been learning how to do this difficult thing. It's a learning curve I wish she never ever had to go through, especially while she's still so so young. But sadly as I know all too well, we don't always get what we wish do we?

Listen to me, after all this time I still sound so bitter and so angry over the fact you're not here _with_ us. I had hoped so much that by now, after almost five years, I still wouldn't sound or feel this way. But I do Tony, and I think I always will. At least on some level because I can't find anything that seems to help how much it hurts or how much I miss you every day that I get to live and you don't. We had a perfect, happy life together, and it was over far too soon. Ha, I guess taking you away from us was the universe's way of saying what we had was too perfect. Maybe we weren't supposed to have that life, not while so many other people were hurting and crying for the people they loved.

No, I am not going to tell you about how there are still nights where _she_ (and I) still call out for you after she’s had a bad dream. I am not going to tell you how she comes into my room crying, wanting so much to feel safe wrapped in her Daddy’s arms, or how she cries even harder she crawls into the space where you used to be, only to find it cold and empty instead full and warm and safe _with you_.

Neither I am not going to tell you about how I know Morgan would _love_ to have you here to help her with her homework. The same goes for how much I know she’d want you to help with her science projects. Don’t worry she’s not completely without help in that area. You know of course her Uncles Rhodey, Bruce, and even Happy have both stepped up to help in any way they can. But even with how much she _loves_ them all, it isn't the same as having her Daddy there to help her. It can’t be because she knows all the other kids in school have their Dads there to help them.

But we’re okay. 

We’re doing okay, just like I _promised you_ that we would.

Why am I still going to the grief support group, if we’re doing so _okay_ then? If I’m so okay, shouldn’t I be past having to keep going to the support group? I would ask if I should not be past going to the meetings, but I won’t. I think it’s because they have all become like members of extended family to me. They were strangers to me when I started going but now after so many years of listening to me talk about how much I miss you and me listening to them talk about their lost loved ones

* * *

Tony, I've come back to this letter after a week of not looking at it, and now I have realized how much I was avoiding the _real_ reason why I wanted to write you this letter. Even with everything I wrote before this moment, there was something else I was leaving out that I think you should know. There is no easy way for me to say this, Tony, but I _need_ to tell you. I think once you know, once I’ve finally written it out in black and white, an enormous weight is going to be lifted off of my shoulders.

I’ve

I've been seeing someone for the past year. And yes before you ask the question, we're getting serious. What's between us is getting _very_ serious in fact because last week the reason I started writing you the letter is to tell you that Dan (that's his name) has actually asked that Morgan and I move in with him and his daughter.

I couldn't give him an answer right at that moment. I didn't say yes to him, Tony, but I also didn't say no. I just read over the last few sentences I wrote and I realized once more I am avoiding _what it is_ I need to say. 

Okay, here it goes…

**I am seriously considering saying YES to Dan.**

**Author's Note:**

> I know what you're all thinking! Although I wrote an AU verse where Pepper married Rhodey I can't imagine Pepper ever moving on from Tony either, especially when that someone is previously unknown as Dan is!
> 
> Even so, I still wrote this letter with her sorta moving on or has she? Things are not always what they seem which is why I want to make this letter a full-blown story at some point. I have some ideas written down, like Dan and his daughter's story, I just need to figure out the rest like the first time Pepper meets him, and how their relationship progresses from there.
> 
> I am marking this story complete for now, and will change that once I am ready to tell the rest of the story. I think perhaps I need to try to write most of not all of the story before I post it, so it might be awhile. I hope someone will be interested in reading the full story and subscribe to this!


End file.
